Realization through our Disparity
by BBento
Summary: The American Revolutionary war... It has been the target of Britain's pain for a while now. He wanted to know: Why did America leave him? When he finally decides to ask over some tea, secrets are spilled from both sides, and emotions are made clear. Human names used.


"Hey Britain! All I want is my freedom! I'm no longer a child, no more your little brother. From now on consider me independent."

The nation's green eyes shone with hurt as he heard every word ring out through the pouring rainstorm.

_Is… is this what you really want?_

In a brief flash of anger, he lashed out at the American, driving the bayonet of his gun into the wood of his rival-in-war's, sending it flying and rendering him defenseless. He stood there, panting slightly, holding his gun pointed and ready. He looked straight and noticed the element of surprise in a pair of familiar blue eyes.

"I won't allow it! You idiot! Why can't you follow anything through to the end?"

He heard a "Ready, aim!" In the background from the opposing troops, drowned out by all that damn rain. He slowly lowered the gun, much to the surprise of those blue eyes.

_I can't do this._

"There's no way I could shoot you, I can't."

Casting his gun aside into the mud, the defeated nation sank to his knees, and he looked downwards. Tears began to slide down his face, mixing along with the rain. He suppressed sobs, until his body was shaking with the effort to remain silent.

_He can see you crying._

In one last effort to hide his tears, he put a hand to his face.

"Why? Dammit, why?! It's not fair!"

"You know why."

All those memories suddenly flashed through him. "Let's go home." He remembered how he held out his hand for that young child to take, and the soft giggle that followed.  
He remembered.  
It wasn't fair.  
Why was he running away after all this time?  
It didn't…. it didn't make sense.

"What happened? I remember when you were great."

_What's wrong with the way I am now?_

The blonde could only sob, and let out all this sadness and frustration.  
It was the first, and last time that Alfred had ever seen him cry.

Until now, that is.

After decades and decades the Brit had finally decided to tell his American about the way he had felt back then.  
Instead, he hadn't even been able to get through even a bit of what he had wanted to say before burying his face in his hands to once again hide all those emotions, the ones that attacked so suddenly; there was no way to hold back the tears that were sure to follow.  
The emotions that only Alfred was able to make him feel.

When Britain had asked him to tea, he figured that it was some 'country thing' and decided to smuggle in some delicious burgers. After all- It wasn't like Arthur had ever really hung out with him if he could help it since he was a kid.  
No, since that time…  
Alfred wondered why.

The green-eyed country had began: "Hey America, I wanted to talk to you something about 'the war'."  
His voice sounded very casual. Nothing out-of-the-ordinary at all.

"Sure dude, go ahead." Alfred had been eyeing his tea cup rather suspiciously; he didn't trust tea. He much preferred Pepsi or even coffee.

_He doesn't remember when I used to make him tea, when he was still little._

"Do you remember when I had knocked your gun out of your hands, and…" Arthur's voice had trailed away, which was very unusual for him. The American, slightly confused, had looked over to see that he was thinking very hard about something.

"and… What did you mean when you said that you remembered I was great?"

The question caught Alfred off guard. "Huh? I said that?"

"Yes. You asked me what happened, that said that you remembered when I was great. I…I wanted to know what you meant by that."

Britain had looked down, not wanting to meet Alfred's gaze. He wouldn't be able to hide his tears any longer if he did.

"I… I don't really remember, but I think I meant something about how great I remember you were before you left." This was all very confusing to Alfred. "Why are you asking now? It happened such a long time ago."

"B-because you idiot, I… just wanted to know. I had never really known what you had m-meant…"

_Oh, damn it all. This is what I was trying to avoid. These tears, they weren't supposto be shown to anyone again. It reminds me too much of when…when all that I had, left me._

For the second time, England tried to choke back a sob before America noticed.  
But this time there was no rain to hide in.

"Britain…are you alright? What's the matter?"

_Britain. He never has called me by my name, has he? I used to call him by his name… but after he went independent it felt almost wrong to continue doing so. …not that I haven't almost called him so on occasions…_

"Y-yes! Of course I am, you idiot!"

_My idiot._

After the sadness came anger.

"Why did you leave me?! I had always cared for you, I would have done anything if you had asked! I still would! It's not fair, what you did… I never even understood why!" After his sudden outburst, Arthur had turned to face the surprised American in front of him. The boy he had practically raised. The boy who had left him. The boy… who he loved more than he really should. His sides heaved like they had that day, as he tried not to just let all his anger and frustration and everything out all at once.

_You said that I knew why… Well Alfred, I didn't and still don't understand why._

"So tell me why."

"Because… if I was still your little brother, then I would never have gathered up the courage to do this."  
Alfred gently wiped the tears away from Arthur's cheeks, and leaned down to press his lips to those of the older nation's.

_I'm sorry I never told you then, Arthur. I didn't want to admit how scared I was to say it, so I decided not to say anything. I realize my mistake now._

Surprised, Arthur took a moment to realize what was happening before kissing him back, working his lips against his fellow nation's. He never realized that Alfred had felt this way…

_That makes both of us amazing actors, doesn't it?_

After a minute of this Alfred pulled away and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, holding him close in an attempt to comfort him.  
"I never realized that you were still upset… I'm sorry. I really missed you when you left… so I must have thought of you differently once you came back since I hadn't seen you for such a long time. I tried to act…defiant, I guess, to try to hide my fear. You always told me not to be scared of anything. Maybe now, if you don't mind, would be a good time to tell you…  
I love you. More than a brother normally would."  
His glasses were crooked, but he didn't really care at the moment.

Arthur saw everything pop into place like a puzzle; it all made sense now.

_You knew that I felt that way, didn't you? Alfred… I'm glad you won that war. If you didn't… you would be right, we wouldn't have been able to kiss like that._

He returned Alfred's embrace.  
"You will never know how much it hurts to have everything you love dearly just leave you, and tell you they remembered you when you 'were great'. I hope you never _have_to understand that."

_How he can start and end my tears like that, I will never know._

Feeling that Arthur didn't want to say any more, he decided to ask. "So does that mean I can kiss you again?" The mood instantly lifted as he changed Arthur's tone of voice to a more carefree one.

"Fine. Just once-"

They broke out in a sudden, passionate kiss, Alfred breaking into Arthur's sentence to start it. Someone –neither of them knew who- began a tongue kiss, and the two ended up falling over onto the couch and almost knocked a neatly stacked pile of books over on a nearby table. Alfred's glasses were pulled off, and softly fell to the floor next to his shoes.

Both cups of tea sat, untouched, for the remainder of the night.

* * *

**I was inspired to write this when I was looking through an America/Britain fan pairings wiki page. Feel free to let your imaginations roam at the ending~  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or "America's Storage Room Cleaning", which is where I got the beginning from (American Revolutionary War scene, English dub)  
Hope you enjoyed! So many fangirl feels right now….  
If you have time, maybe you could drop me a review?**


End file.
